Tonight was the graduation supper for the 40th School for Christian Workers.
I know I haven't posted much about the Disciple's Heart class while I was taking it... but it wasn't because there was nothing to say. Really, it was because so much was happening that it would have been tough to do justice to it in a blog.
It was also tough to write about because the class was really just one part of what God was doing in my life. Everything was so interconnected... I never knew where to start. Even tonight at the graduation when they asked us all to share a little bit of what God did in our lives through the class, I found myself stumbling over my words. So I'm gonna give it another shot here!
The Disciple's Heart class was a much-needed push in the right direction for me. I can never read the Bible the same way again. I've started to look at myself and others differently -- learning to forgive myself and be vulnerable with others. I will never look at God the same way again. I've learned how to climb up into His lap and let Him love me. I'm learning how to let Him be my defender. I'm longing to see others with His eyes.
In a nutshell... the person who graduated tonight was completely different from the one who started back in September.
The kewlest thing about this whole experience is how God used a number of different folks to teach and re-enforce the things I was learning... I have been blessed to have so many folks in my life who are discipling me on some level. The person who moved to Louisiana 7+ months ago was still fiercely independent and not very willing to learn from others. The person who graduated tonight is starting to understand that God is constantly working through our relationships with eachother to bring us all closer to Him.
Showing posts with label Christian Challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian Challenge. Show all posts
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My first big "gem"
I've been writing and re-writing this post for a long time now... It actually happened back in September when I was still struggling with the "Gems for Jesus" devotions. I referred to it in a previous post... it was what happened that third morning... the "gem" that jumped out at me and has stuck with me ever since. I want to share it now, because so much of what has been happening in my life since then is directly related to that "gem."
I was reading in Matthew 8 where Jesus finds the Gadarene demoniacs. He casts the demons out, they go into a herd of pigs, and the pigs run into the ocean and kill themselves. This doesn't go over real well with the folks in town... and it says that the whole town came out and implored Jesus to leave their region. So He left.
A couple of things jumped out at me from this passage that morning:
First, when Jesus does something, it can be messy and inconvenient and even seem to be destructive.
Second, if we ask Jesus to leave us alone, He will.
And this is how I applied it to my life: When God wants to do something in my life that will bring healing -- but could also be very messy / disruptive -- would I trust Him or ask Him to leave me alone? I knew that there were some areas where I had definitely asked Him to just leave it alone... but I felt like He was challenging me to trust Him, and instead of imploring Him to leave that area alone, invite Him right into the middle of it...
That was my first real "gem" moment. I knew that God was up to something, but I had only the vaguest idea of what it was or how far it would go...
There's so much more I'd like to share, and hopefully over the next few days I'll be able to get my thoughts together and share some of that here as well.
I was reading in Matthew 8 where Jesus finds the Gadarene demoniacs. He casts the demons out, they go into a herd of pigs, and the pigs run into the ocean and kill themselves. This doesn't go over real well with the folks in town... and it says that the whole town came out and implored Jesus to leave their region. So He left.
A couple of things jumped out at me from this passage that morning:
First, when Jesus does something, it can be messy and inconvenient and even seem to be destructive.
Second, if we ask Jesus to leave us alone, He will.
And this is how I applied it to my life: When God wants to do something in my life that will bring healing -- but could also be very messy / disruptive -- would I trust Him or ask Him to leave me alone? I knew that there were some areas where I had definitely asked Him to just leave it alone... but I felt like He was challenging me to trust Him, and instead of imploring Him to leave that area alone, invite Him right into the middle of it...
That was my first real "gem" moment. I knew that God was up to something, but I had only the vaguest idea of what it was or how far it would go...
There's so much more I'd like to share, and hopefully over the next few days I'll be able to get my thoughts together and share some of that here as well.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Pursuit of God
The Disciple's Heart class is still going well. I'm learning a lot... but it's not just through the class itself. I'm getting a lot out of my devotions, at times I feel like the Sunday sermon is aimed right at me, and conversations I've had with others are all pointing me in a common direction. It's funny how God weaves things together in His own way!
We're required to read a few books from an approved list during the course. The first book that I chose was "The Pursuit of God" by AW Tozer. I've read it before -- about 8 or 9 years ago -- but this time I noticed things that I don't remember seeing before. Of course, whenever we're focused on something we're going to see hints and reminders of it everywhere we look, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised!
At the very beginning of the book, Tozer talks about receiving Christ but having no hunger for Him -- how folks are taught to be content with little in that regard, how we need "conscious personal awareness" of God. I love that phrase... and it really sums up what I've been learning over these last few weeks. I can have a "conscious personal awareness" of God without being flakey!!
Tozer also likes to draw contrasts between the way secular folks view things and the way Christians ought to view things. I was amazed by how often I lined up more closely to his secular model than I did to the Christian one.
Another great quote was "He meant us to see Him and live with Him and draw our life from His smile." God's smile? Over the last few months I've thought a lot about getting closer to God... but I never pictured finding a smile on His face when I got there...
That's neat...
We're required to read a few books from an approved list during the course. The first book that I chose was "The Pursuit of God" by AW Tozer. I've read it before -- about 8 or 9 years ago -- but this time I noticed things that I don't remember seeing before. Of course, whenever we're focused on something we're going to see hints and reminders of it everywhere we look, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised!
At the very beginning of the book, Tozer talks about receiving Christ but having no hunger for Him -- how folks are taught to be content with little in that regard, how we need "conscious personal awareness" of God. I love that phrase... and it really sums up what I've been learning over these last few weeks. I can have a "conscious personal awareness" of God without being flakey!!
Tozer also likes to draw contrasts between the way secular folks view things and the way Christians ought to view things. I was amazed by how often I lined up more closely to his secular model than I did to the Christian one.
Another great quote was "He meant us to see Him and live with Him and draw our life from His smile." God's smile? Over the last few months I've thought a lot about getting closer to God... but I never pictured finding a smile on His face when I got there...
That's neat...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Returning to normal -- Quick update
Saturday morning, a bunch of us got together at Christian Challenge to clean up a bit after the storm. There were some branches down on the property, and the contents of the kitchen fridges and freezers had to be thrown away. As we were eating our lunch Saturday afternoon, the power came back on! Our phone lines and Internet connection were still out, but at least we could have
services in our own building Sunday morning.
The Sunday service was great. Pastor Nathan gave folks a chance to (briefly) share some of their storm stories and how folks had reached out to eachother in the midst of it all. It was neat to hear those testimonies!
Monday, we had partial phone service restored... and yesterday, we got the Internet back. So slowly but surely, life is returning to some sort of "normal."
And... it looks like hurricane Ike won't be hitting us. That's a huge relief.
After a week's delay, I finally spent my first night in my new place on Saturday. I still have a lot of work to do here, but it felt really really good to be back in my own bed, getting settled in after such an unsettling week!
BTW, I just wanted to say a big "Thank you" to everyone out there who has been praying for me & for the folks at my church!
services in our own building Sunday morning.
The Sunday service was great. Pastor Nathan gave folks a chance to (briefly) share some of their storm stories and how folks had reached out to eachother in the midst of it all. It was neat to hear those testimonies!
Monday, we had partial phone service restored... and yesterday, we got the Internet back. So slowly but surely, life is returning to some sort of "normal."
And... it looks like hurricane Ike won't be hitting us. That's a huge relief.
After a week's delay, I finally spent my first night in my new place on Saturday. I still have a lot of work to do here, but it felt really really good to be back in my own bed, getting settled in after such an unsettling week!
BTW, I just wanted to say a big "Thank you" to everyone out there who has been praying for me & for the folks at my church!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Gustav Update
I'm back in Pineville!
I was very grateful for the chance to get away from power outage, heat, humidity, and lack of water for a few days, but it felt so good to get back!
There is still a lot of damage, lots of trees down, and many folks without power... but there are electric company trucks out everywhere, and it has been neat looking at where they are all from. There are folks here from hundreds of miles away to help us put our power system back together. I've read in some news articles that the people of Louisiana have been rude to these guys, yelling at them and pitching fits because the power has been out for so long. That's really sad... but I believe it. Unfortunately, for every vocal rude person out there, there are probably dozens of grateful folks. I wish there was a way to express my gratitude to these guys... it's a shame that they would come so far to do such good work and have to leave feeling abused by Louisiana's lunatic fringe.
I usually don't stop to talk to workers on the road... I feel like it interrupts them. Perhaps I should make a point of stopping and saying "thanks" as I go about my business today.
I spent last night with friends again. I didn't have a chance to really clean my house before the storm hit, so between the "stink" of a house that had been sitting empty and needed cleaning and the "stink" of generator fumes, it just wasn't going to be a pleasant evening at my place! But today I start to tackle that head-on.
As of late last night, the church still didn't have any power. It was kinda eerie driving past with everything dark. Our sign is always lit up out front, and there are plenty of lights on the outside of the building as well. Seeing the church like that... it's just kinda sad.
We've made arrangements to have services in another building downtown if the power doesn't get restored today, but I'm really hoping that the power will be back by then. I'll be grateful to be with my Christian Challenge family no matter where we meet, but having the services in our own building would be so much better!!
Pastor Nathan has been doing an amazing job. He has been checking up on folks from the church and helping them with cleanup, minor repairs, food, ice, water... even temporarily hooking them up with generators. And that's all on top of his responsibilities for the city! When I left town Tuesday morning, I gave him my keys. I figured if the power was still out after a couple of days, he could raid my freezer and maybe a few folks could eat it rather than let it all go to waste. I also wanted to know that while I was out of town, someone could get into the house in case anything else happened.
In the grand scheme of things, my little freezer was such a minor thing. I didn't have any leaks in my roof, no trees down, no flooding... I wasn't facing many of the things that other families in the church were dealing with. I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to bring a generator to my house to keep my freezer frozen... but that's what Pastor Nathan did! I've also received several phone calls from folks at Christian Challenge over the last few days -- just calling to check up on me! And many of those folks were dealing with situations far worse than mine.
You know, it's one thing for folks to check up on you and express their concern for you when nothing is happening in their lives... But when their lives are impacted, and they are still reaching out to others... that's something special. It's really neat to have a church family like this! I've been in Pineville for a little less than four months now. I'm still very "new" to this church. I've struggled a bit with some aspects of southern culture... some things still make me a little uncomfortable... but after what I've experienced in the last week, I cannot question the fact that these folks love eachother, love God... and even love me.
I was very grateful for the chance to get away from power outage, heat, humidity, and lack of water for a few days, but it felt so good to get back!
There is still a lot of damage, lots of trees down, and many folks without power... but there are electric company trucks out everywhere, and it has been neat looking at where they are all from. There are folks here from hundreds of miles away to help us put our power system back together. I've read in some news articles that the people of Louisiana have been rude to these guys, yelling at them and pitching fits because the power has been out for so long. That's really sad... but I believe it. Unfortunately, for every vocal rude person out there, there are probably dozens of grateful folks. I wish there was a way to express my gratitude to these guys... it's a shame that they would come so far to do such good work and have to leave feeling abused by Louisiana's lunatic fringe.
I usually don't stop to talk to workers on the road... I feel like it interrupts them. Perhaps I should make a point of stopping and saying "thanks" as I go about my business today.
I spent last night with friends again. I didn't have a chance to really clean my house before the storm hit, so between the "stink" of a house that had been sitting empty and needed cleaning and the "stink" of generator fumes, it just wasn't going to be a pleasant evening at my place! But today I start to tackle that head-on.
As of late last night, the church still didn't have any power. It was kinda eerie driving past with everything dark. Our sign is always lit up out front, and there are plenty of lights on the outside of the building as well. Seeing the church like that... it's just kinda sad.
We've made arrangements to have services in another building downtown if the power doesn't get restored today, but I'm really hoping that the power will be back by then. I'll be grateful to be with my Christian Challenge family no matter where we meet, but having the services in our own building would be so much better!!
Pastor Nathan has been doing an amazing job. He has been checking up on folks from the church and helping them with cleanup, minor repairs, food, ice, water... even temporarily hooking them up with generators. And that's all on top of his responsibilities for the city! When I left town Tuesday morning, I gave him my keys. I figured if the power was still out after a couple of days, he could raid my freezer and maybe a few folks could eat it rather than let it all go to waste. I also wanted to know that while I was out of town, someone could get into the house in case anything else happened.
In the grand scheme of things, my little freezer was such a minor thing. I didn't have any leaks in my roof, no trees down, no flooding... I wasn't facing many of the things that other families in the church were dealing with. I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to bring a generator to my house to keep my freezer frozen... but that's what Pastor Nathan did! I've also received several phone calls from folks at Christian Challenge over the last few days -- just calling to check up on me! And many of those folks were dealing with situations far worse than mine.
You know, it's one thing for folks to check up on you and express their concern for you when nothing is happening in their lives... But when their lives are impacted, and they are still reaching out to others... that's something special. It's really neat to have a church family like this! I've been in Pineville for a little less than four months now. I'm still very "new" to this church. I've struggled a bit with some aspects of southern culture... some things still make me a little uncomfortable... but after what I've experienced in the last week, I cannot question the fact that these folks love eachother, love God... and even love me.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The amazing folks at Christian Challenge
Yesterday was quite a day!
A few brave volunteers from my small group showed up bright and early to help me move the first load to my new house. They were awesome!! They made it look easy! I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to have these guys give up their Saturday morning for me... especially since I just met one of them for the first time through this new small group! Christian Challenge is AWESOME!
After they left, I was doing some minor things around the house (without Internet access or TV) when my cell phone rang. It was my landlord. He had just gotten word that a family was evacuating from south Louisiana and needed a place to stay. He had another empty house, but it REALLY needed to be cleaned. It had been rented to some college kids who had a dog (and heaven only knows what else!) in that house. It was filthy. I went over to check things out... but I knew I'd need some major help. One couple had already told me that they were going to help, but they were running late... so I called another couple from the church, and they came pretty much immediately!!
By the time my landlord arrived to check on us, we had five adults and a handful of children working on it. I wish I had taken pictures... but there just wasn't time! We threw a ton of junk away, swept up loads of dirt, cleaned windows, scrubbed a kitchen and bathroom, and even cleaned up the dirty window air conditioners. In around three fast-paced hours we had the whole thing done. Just as we were getting done mopping our way out of the house, the landlord came back. The family from south Louisiana was just a few minutes away on the highway! We couldn't have timed it better.
Cleaning out that house was hard work... but it felt really good! I was grateful for the opportunity to do something for the Gustav evacuees... but I was also very much impressed with the folks at my church who came together on very little notice to tackle a huge project. It made me proud to be a part of Christian Challenge, and it was fun to work alongside others with a true heart for serving others.
But in all the excitement and Internet / TV deprivation, I missed the news about Gustav's development. I knew that Alexandria / Pineville would be hosting many folks from the coastal areas... but as the day went on yesterday it became clear that we would also be getting hit. As my pastor put it this morning, we're in the impact zone. That's a scary thought... I hope that the "worst case scenario" does not materialize, but everyone here is planning as if it will.
I've been planning and preparing as well. I have plenty of water and food. They're not expecting a lot of structural damage, but limbs / trees down could make travel difficult and there's the potential that we'll be without electricity for an extended time. That's the part that makes me most nervous. So, just to be safe, I'll be spending tomorrow evening with my pastor's family... if I'm going to be stuck somewhere in the dark, at least I won't be stuck alone!
I'll post more tomorrow...
A few brave volunteers from my small group showed up bright and early to help me move the first load to my new house. They were awesome!! They made it look easy! I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to have these guys give up their Saturday morning for me... especially since I just met one of them for the first time through this new small group! Christian Challenge is AWESOME!
After they left, I was doing some minor things around the house (without Internet access or TV) when my cell phone rang. It was my landlord. He had just gotten word that a family was evacuating from south Louisiana and needed a place to stay. He had another empty house, but it REALLY needed to be cleaned. It had been rented to some college kids who had a dog (and heaven only knows what else!) in that house. It was filthy. I went over to check things out... but I knew I'd need some major help. One couple had already told me that they were going to help, but they were running late... so I called another couple from the church, and they came pretty much immediately!!
By the time my landlord arrived to check on us, we had five adults and a handful of children working on it. I wish I had taken pictures... but there just wasn't time! We threw a ton of junk away, swept up loads of dirt, cleaned windows, scrubbed a kitchen and bathroom, and even cleaned up the dirty window air conditioners. In around three fast-paced hours we had the whole thing done. Just as we were getting done mopping our way out of the house, the landlord came back. The family from south Louisiana was just a few minutes away on the highway! We couldn't have timed it better.
Cleaning out that house was hard work... but it felt really good! I was grateful for the opportunity to do something for the Gustav evacuees... but I was also very much impressed with the folks at my church who came together on very little notice to tackle a huge project. It made me proud to be a part of Christian Challenge, and it was fun to work alongside others with a true heart for serving others.
But in all the excitement and Internet / TV deprivation, I missed the news about Gustav's development. I knew that Alexandria / Pineville would be hosting many folks from the coastal areas... but as the day went on yesterday it became clear that we would also be getting hit. As my pastor put it this morning, we're in the impact zone. That's a scary thought... I hope that the "worst case scenario" does not materialize, but everyone here is planning as if it will.
I've been planning and preparing as well. I have plenty of water and food. They're not expecting a lot of structural damage, but limbs / trees down could make travel difficult and there's the potential that we'll be without electricity for an extended time. That's the part that makes me most nervous. So, just to be safe, I'll be spending tomorrow evening with my pastor's family... if I'm going to be stuck somewhere in the dark, at least I won't be stuck alone!
I'll post more tomorrow...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Updates
I've been neglecting my blog, so I thought I'd post a few quick updates before I get going today!
The "right hand of fellowship" was a little intimidating / uncomfortable, but overall it was a positive experience. I'm probably just not "southernized" enough yet to truly appreciate it!
Small groups start this week. My small group will be meeting on Wednesday nights. I'm a little nervous about that too... we've had a couple of weeks of "orientation" and a kickoff party, but tonight will be the first real meeting. I was spoiled in Florida -- CATB had the best small groups!! So my expectations may be a little high...
The Disciple's Heart class starts in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to that. Bro. Buddy will be teaching the class that I am in. He's the one who developed the class, even though he hasn't taught it in a while... so it will be a real treat to get to hear him teach it. I'm sure it will be a bit of a "stretching" time for me, but excited about that.
I've picked up some freelance jobs, including a part time position taking baby pictures at one of the hospitals. I spent Thursday, Friday, and Monday in various training and orientation meetings. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun... but after the hospital orientation session, I am a little concerned. A couple of the administrative-types at the hospital told me that they seem to have new photographers every two months or so... and that makes me wonder if there are issues with the company that I'll be working with. It takes a week for folks to get trained, then they are required to give two weeks notice... so that would mean that folks are burning out after about a month. That can't be good. Only time will tell I guess... but fortunately, I've only committed to two days per week at this point. We'll have to see how it goes!
The "right hand of fellowship" was a little intimidating / uncomfortable, but overall it was a positive experience. I'm probably just not "southernized" enough yet to truly appreciate it!
Small groups start this week. My small group will be meeting on Wednesday nights. I'm a little nervous about that too... we've had a couple of weeks of "orientation" and a kickoff party, but tonight will be the first real meeting. I was spoiled in Florida -- CATB had the best small groups!! So my expectations may be a little high...
The Disciple's Heart class starts in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to that. Bro. Buddy will be teaching the class that I am in. He's the one who developed the class, even though he hasn't taught it in a while... so it will be a real treat to get to hear him teach it. I'm sure it will be a bit of a "stretching" time for me, but excited about that.
I've picked up some freelance jobs, including a part time position taking baby pictures at one of the hospitals. I spent Thursday, Friday, and Monday in various training and orientation meetings. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun... but after the hospital orientation session, I am a little concerned. A couple of the administrative-types at the hospital told me that they seem to have new photographers every two months or so... and that makes me wonder if there are issues with the company that I'll be working with. It takes a week for folks to get trained, then they are required to give two weeks notice... so that would mean that folks are burning out after about a month. That can't be good. Only time will tell I guess... but fortunately, I've only committed to two days per week at this point. We'll have to see how it goes!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Palm Branches vs Perfume Boxes
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, and Pastor Nathan Martin from Christian Challenge preached an interesting message on the difference between Palm Branch praise and Perfume Box praise. (The recording is posted to their website. I listened to it tonight...)
When Jesus rode into Jerusalem, the people worshipped him with Palm Branches and shouts... but they did it because their expectations of Him were different than what He really was. They worshipped Him because they thought He would rescue them from their political and economic situation. These same people, not long after, call for Jesus to be crucified.
Palm Branch praise was loud and demonstrative... and cheap. Not only was it shallow, the palm branches probably didn't cost people anything, they just ripped them off the trees.
He contrasts that with Mary's worship -- breaking the perfume box and washing Jesus' feet with it. The perfume was expensive. The expression of worship was not public, not loud, not meant to draw attention... but it was real. It was personal.
There's a lot more to the message, but I'll let you listen for yourself and find that out!
I'm getting ready for a big weekend at my church. We're having five services this weekend -- five separate Easter Egg hunts for the kids -- five separate times for folks to get baptized...
And you know what else? At least five opportunities for me to lose sight of what Easter is really all about... at least five different opportunties for me to choose whether I worship with a Palm Branch or a Perfume Box.
When Jesus rode into Jerusalem, the people worshipped him with Palm Branches and shouts... but they did it because their expectations of Him were different than what He really was. They worshipped Him because they thought He would rescue them from their political and economic situation. These same people, not long after, call for Jesus to be crucified.
Palm Branch praise was loud and demonstrative... and cheap. Not only was it shallow, the palm branches probably didn't cost people anything, they just ripped them off the trees.
He contrasts that with Mary's worship -- breaking the perfume box and washing Jesus' feet with it. The perfume was expensive. The expression of worship was not public, not loud, not meant to draw attention... but it was real. It was personal.
There's a lot more to the message, but I'll let you listen for yourself and find that out!
I'm getting ready for a big weekend at my church. We're having five services this weekend -- five separate Easter Egg hunts for the kids -- five separate times for folks to get baptized...
And you know what else? At least five opportunities for me to lose sight of what Easter is really all about... at least five different opportunties for me to choose whether I worship with a Palm Branch or a Perfume Box.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Amazing Grace
I spent this weekend with a wonderful group of people -- a bunch of other recovering Pentecostals, folks who have all been a part of the United Pentecostal Church at some point in their past. We shared testimonies, meals, lots of laughs, and a few tears. Before this weekend, many of them were perfect strangers to me... but it's funny how a shared struggle can make perfect strangers feel like extended family in no time!
It was interesting (though sometimes difficult) to hear others share their experiences in the UPC. It brought back a lot of memories: some good, and some not so good. It was encouraging to hear how so many different people had made the journey from legalism to grace in many different ways.
But one of the things that struck me the most was the fact that the hosts of this meeting -- Bro Buddy & Betty Martin from Christian Challenge -- were celebrating the 32nd anniversary of their church this weekend. Of all weekends, this one should have been all about them... yet they opened their church, their home, and their hearts to a group of virtual strangers and ministered to them instead. They invited us into their home, let us keep them up late (even though they needed to be up early in the morning), and shared a lot of encouragement and wisdom. They demonstrated great grace (which also happened to be the subject of the of the service this morning) towards all of us!
I used to live in Louisiana, not far from Christian Challenge... but I had some bad / painful memories from my time there. I hadn't been back since I left many years ago, so I was a little apprehensive about going. Just thinking about the trip was bringing up some things I would have rather not stirred up... but I had to face it / deal with it / get it out. I was able to do that here in a "safe" place with folks who understood and could help me. I thought that if I just ignored this wound and avoided talking about it, it would go away on its own... but after 7+ years, that didn't happen. Now, after all that time, it's finally starting to heal. I finally have a "peace" about the whole thing... and if I hadn't confronted it, I don't think that would have happened.
This morning during the worship service, I sang Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace. It's basically the familiar hymn with an added chorus... but that chorus is powerful. As I sung it this morning, those words were especially meaningful to me:
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, amazing grace...
In many ways, that old wound was a chain holding me down... and now it's gone. It's still a little sore, but now that the wound has been cleaned out, it can heal properly.
More later!
It was interesting (though sometimes difficult) to hear others share their experiences in the UPC. It brought back a lot of memories: some good, and some not so good. It was encouraging to hear how so many different people had made the journey from legalism to grace in many different ways.
But one of the things that struck me the most was the fact that the hosts of this meeting -- Bro Buddy & Betty Martin from Christian Challenge -- were celebrating the 32nd anniversary of their church this weekend. Of all weekends, this one should have been all about them... yet they opened their church, their home, and their hearts to a group of virtual strangers and ministered to them instead. They invited us into their home, let us keep them up late (even though they needed to be up early in the morning), and shared a lot of encouragement and wisdom. They demonstrated great grace (which also happened to be the subject of the of the service this morning) towards all of us!
I used to live in Louisiana, not far from Christian Challenge... but I had some bad / painful memories from my time there. I hadn't been back since I left many years ago, so I was a little apprehensive about going. Just thinking about the trip was bringing up some things I would have rather not stirred up... but I had to face it / deal with it / get it out. I was able to do that here in a "safe" place with folks who understood and could help me. I thought that if I just ignored this wound and avoided talking about it, it would go away on its own... but after 7+ years, that didn't happen. Now, after all that time, it's finally starting to heal. I finally have a "peace" about the whole thing... and if I hadn't confronted it, I don't think that would have happened.
This morning during the worship service, I sang Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace. It's basically the familiar hymn with an added chorus... but that chorus is powerful. As I sung it this morning, those words were especially meaningful to me:
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, amazing grace...
In many ways, that old wound was a chain holding me down... and now it's gone. It's still a little sore, but now that the wound has been cleaned out, it can heal properly.
More later!
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