Before, "joy" was a stream that I had to feed. Now, it's a stream that feeds me.
That's a huge contrast...
It seems like ex-Pentecostal is often synonymous with ex-Christian. I've known many people who walked away from Christianity when they walked away from Pentecostalism. I'm not going to be one of them.
"To many Christians, “faith” means sincerely believing something is true when you don’t have any evidence. In fact, faith is acting on what you know full well is true: God is able to keep his promise and can be trusted to do it. Faith that is only theoretical conviction isn’t faith yet. Real faith – living faith, saving faith – does something about it."I can relate to that first sentence. For years I heard the mantra that "faith IS the evidence." If you believe it, it is true. If doubt, you're in trouble. If you believe, it will happen. If it doesn't happen, you must not have believed. It was also impossible to have faith in something that you knew for sure. In a sense, if you already knew it was true, it wasn't faith: it was just a fact. The idea that God is able to keep His promise and can be trusted... that was very much a conditional thing. God would do what he promised IF we played the game right, and it was extremely easy to get disqualified on a technicality.