Thursday, April 10, 2008

Mixed emotions

I've made a couple of big decisions... and this week (especially) has been an emotional roller coaster ride!

I'm moving to Louisiana. I went out there this past weekend. It is amazing how much it already feels like home -- how comfortable I am at Christian Challenge (where I will be attending church when I move). It feels like every time I turn around, another little piece of the puzzle is falling into place. Everything is coming together much more quickly and favorably than I could have ever anticipated.

I turned in my resignation to my current employer. I was nervous about that. I wanted to give them more than enough notice, but at the same time, I knew that they could terminate me on the spot once I gave them notice. Fortunately, that didn't happen and they're willing to let me work (even partial weeks) up until I move. So that's a blessing.

I also let my pastors & friends at church know about my plans. When I first broke the news to them a few weeks ago, I thought that I'd be moving sometime over the summer -- definitely not before June. But now, I'm looking at May... and that's not a lot of time. I don't even want to think about my last week at Church at the Bay... that's going to be really rough.

But... even though it is going to be rough, it's going to be rough for good reasons (if that makes any sense!)

When I left the last unhealthy church that I attended, I was told that I would be out of God's will, horrible things would happen to me, and I was in rebellion 'cause I wouldn't listen to the pastor. But this time, leaving my church isn't at all like that. My pastors love me and don't want to see me leave... but they want God's best for me, and they're praying for me. They're not trying to guilt-trip me into staying. And you know what? In some ways, that makes it even more difficult to leave!

It also means that any church I attend after CATB is going to have to meet some pretty high standards! Now that I know what a healthy church looks like, I can never settle for anything less.


More later...


Deborah Hooper said...

I can relate to your story and I like your attitude. You take responsibility for your own decisions and acknowledge the good in the places you left. Let the scriptures be your creed and love the Word of God. By the way, welcome to Louisiana. I live in Shreveport and my husband and I are starting a house church because we hope to restore New Testament Christianity in North Louisiana. I looked at some of your new church's material on Oneness Pentecostals and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that your new pastor's views on the Godhead are simiiar to mine.

Patti said...

wow sorry you had such a horrible experience with pentecostals. you have taken a lot of time it seems to write about it. i am penecostal, but do not share the same feelings. perhaps i am blessed to have a wonderful church and leadership.